Having an online blog is at times really tough because I do want to be honest and share my thoughts with others who might be going through the same thing. At the same time there are those who may read my thoughts and not really understand what my heart is feeling or saying. Putting words to feelings is challenging. Hearing the tone of my thoughts is not something easily done in writing. Facebook is the same way. If I'm having a bad day and post something about how I'm feeling I take the chance of others misunderstanding my words. I have learned over the years that the best way to deal with conflict is communication. I LOATHE gossip, even though I find myself gossiping. It is so hurtful! I can not think of a time that I have tried to use my words to purposefully tear someone down just to be mean even though I'm sure I have. Too many times I have been on the receiving end of those mean words where I felt it necessary to try and explain the truth to those who would listen to untruths about my family or my character. Over the past 15 years or so I have had to learn to stop trying to "fix" whatever damage gossip has done in my life. It is definitely not easy to allow others to believe lies but, it is too exhausting trying to "fix" it all the time. If you have a problem with someone then talk to that person and be honest with how you are feeling. There is a risk that the person may or may not respond to you but, at least you have done your part. If you feel like it is still unresolved you may have to just drop it and move on. I can't "make" people listen, believe, or understand me, I can only hope that in a conversation or in our relationship they will care about me enough to try. My own heart is bruised with those attempts and the let-downs afterwards. I miss and long for those relationships that I used to have and have been broken.
Last month as I struggled with how to move on God lead me to a verse in Isaiah three different time in the course of a few days. It is:
Is. 43:18 "Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
I am convicted that I can't live in the past, I can't bring back what used to be. I have to stop hoping for once was and put my hope in God. My hope has to be that God will lessen the pain each time my wound it touched and that he will help me to move forward even if the reality means that I must grieve for what I have lost, what I still miss. I can't replace what is gone and I can't forget. I'm not sure what to do with that but, I do remember the good too. Please remember your words today and how those words impact others around you! Don't be careless with what you say!!
If you are reading this and I have hurt you somehow please let me know.
Remember your words today, will they encourage or tear down??
1 comment:
This is a really great post, Cindy! I struggle with how to convey my feelings in words too because more often than not, things I say are taken the wrong way and people end up unintentionally hurt. The biggest lesson I had to learn about gossip is that if people will gossip with you they will definitely gossip about you. Since realizing that Im alot more careful about what I allow myself to talk about with people, even 'best friends', because I want to set a standard that hopeully they will respect. That verse in Isaiah is great! Thanks for sharing this!
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