Thoughts

As we were traveling the 34+ hours to and from Florida, I was able to enjoy the view out of my window and think, think about everything that we passed by.  I am feeling conviction about my thoughts.  I really have never thought much about my silent thoughts and how it affects me or those around me.  I am very good at holding my tongue only to let my mind silently scream some sarcasm or even wait until I'm alone with my husband and unload what I really wanted to say about a certain situation.  I find that at times it is very difficult to just be still and silent.  I'm not comfortable with the silence in my mind.  I like to be "witty" and "clever" in how I think.  I find that I have an opinion about EVERYTHING, things that don't matter at all.  I have appointed myself the "Socially Acceptable Behavioral Police"  also known as SABP.  If you need to mow your yard, I could be the one to give you a friendly reminder or if you leave your trash cans at the curb after the trash man has emptied them, then another reminder may come your way.  I just think this stupid stuff.  I may make comments to my husband or just in my head, because I am in control over my tongue and am a good christian girl.  I would never say these things to those I'm speaking about, and I probably don't even know.  There are people that I have to see regularly and I can be kind and polite, but inside my mind I'm thinking thoughts that should get my mouth washed out.  So, now that God is bringing this problem to my attention and I'm actually listening, I am taking one day at a time and working on not being sarcastic to myself or to anyone else.  When I'm tempted to think something negative about someone for their behavior or for whatever reason, I'm gently reminded to take that thought captive and remember that I'm accountable to God.  I want to be a blessing to those around me in deed and in my thoughts.  So the last couple of days have been rather interesting.  I'm amazed on what a smart *** I really am.  This is not good.  Maybe when my mind isn't so cluttered with this nonsense God will be able to use it to his glory!