Vanity

Lately for some reason I have been thinking about my own vanity and how it affects others or does it.  A lot of women, not all, obsess over the appearance of not only themselves, but also the appearances of others.  I have at times, more than I like to admit, become vain and judgmental of others.  Growing up I don't remember being this way at all!  My family didn't talk about things like that.  We had clean clothes and bathed regularly but,  I was never made to feel bad about how I looked or dressed.  Well, there were times at school that I knew I didn't own the most up-to-date wardrobe but, I didn't care.  I realized we didn't have the extra money to buy expensive clothes.  That was the normal for me.  Looking back over my adult years I see that the people I had relationships with began to teach me how to be vain and how to look at others and judge their appearance.  It doesn't take much training to be a graduate into the School of Vanity with high honors.  I became very good at judging others and their appearance and what it "really" must say about a person.  How sad is that!  Who do I think I am?!

Anyway, this has me thinking about how my own appearance draws people in or pushes them away.  How effective am I at helping others depending on what I'm wearing??  Do those who see me wearing really nice clothes all matching with accessories feel that I am approachable?  This may sound crazy but, it's true.  The other day I went to a bank that was in an area of town known for money.   As I am standing in line I can feel the piercing eyes of those around me looking at my attire.  I am wearing jeans, that are a little big for me,  and a jacket that I keep forgetting to throw into the washing machine.  I stand thinking, don't make eye contact.  I am wishing the teller would hurry so that I can leave this place.  I guarantee that I won't make the mistake and choose to enter this bank again.  I realize that part of this shame I feel is my own insecurity with who I am.  I know if I had been standing in line with my Mom or Grams I would have felt no shame. 

This bring me to now and how does this affect my personal ministry.  Do those I want to help feel as though I am judging them?  Does my appearance say, "I love and want to serve you." or does it say, "I am better than you and I will make you feel ashamed of who you are?"  This is a huge concern for me lately.  I don't want to be the latter person.  Truly, I am the person who is most comfortable wearing jeans, sweats and a t shirt or sweat shirt every single day.  It's nice to get dressed up every once in awhile, but I know that when I do it makes me feel differently inside.  I am transformed into someone different than who I truly am.  Clothes don't make a person unless you're a graduate of the School of Vanity then it is difficult to overcome my training.  This is where I am today.  Maybe I should donate all of the clothes that transform me into someone less than a child of God.  Think about it!