Our holiday break is almost over. Zach has been off from his college courses and I have loved being able to spend so much time with all three boys. We have seen a few movies, shopped, went to a few museums and spent some time hanging out in downtown Indy. The time together is precious to me and I know as they continue to grow up the amount of time we are all able to spend together will become less and less.
Monday we will all go back to our schedules packed with school and learning. Until Monday we are catching up on much needed perging around our house (2 of my sons don't see the need for giving anything away). It feels really good to give away things we no longer use or really need. Owning too many things suffocates me. As January is passing I'm ready for a new year with a new attitude and a new outlook on our lives. I am gearing up to see the oncologist again in March hoping for better news. I saw her a week before Christmas and was hoping to move my appointments apart to yearly but, my scans show 1 cm of growth in two areas and I'm anemic. I have been anemic off an on all my life so hopefully this is not related to the cancer. I have to go back in March for more blood work but, no scans this time. I hope everything comes back good and maybe she will move my appointments further apart. God is allowing me to suffer in ways that I never imagined physically and I can see how it has helped me to grow spiritually. It hasn't been easy and I am definitely still learning, learning to be more compassionate towards others with illness or physical pain. I want to see others through His eyes and be an encouragement to those who need it. Anyway, I am looking up as I climb this mountain and knowing He is worth the climb. Maybe I should say that I am worth the climb, I am worth working hard to change my way of thinking, my way of loving others and my outlook on my life in general. It is hard not to become frozen and stranded on a "ledge" unable to allow others to throw me a rope and help me along. Even if the ropes that are offered allow me to fall I know that He will catch me.
1 comment:
Hi Cindy,
Just found your blog and couldn't help but think of a book that relates to this post. It is "Hinds feet in High Places". I've read the more elementary version to our 7 year old and was touched so many times through it. It might be an encouragement to you as well.
Cancer isn't something anyone asks for...I pray God will sustain you and give you the strength that only comes from Him. Blessings~
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