What A Year

It has been one hell of a  joyful year!  Today is the one year anniversary of my knee surgery, which seems like the beginning of a tragic movie that would never end.  Let me recap what went on last year.  I'll try to keep it short and sweet.  I was having INCREDIBLE knee pain that had been going on for a few years with no help from an ortho doc. (Once he knew I had cancer, he told me to go back to my oncologist.)  Anyway, one day the pain was so bad I drove myself to the ER and was given a cortizone shot, wonderful stuff, and referred to a new ortho guy, who eventually did surgery on my and found cartiladge torn and floating around in my knee area.  Yeah, a solution.  The recovery was slow and painful.  I would undergo physical therapy for about 1 month.  The original pain was gone but still a lot of leg pain.  Then, on May 22, Clay had a heart attack.  I watched my best friend, lie helplessly on a gurney in the ER start to slowly fade.  He was rushed from one hospital to another in order to safe his life, and that they did.  He had a stint put in and was home in a couple of days.  God was still good, no matter what would happen.  The pain in my leg began to increase over the summer and into the fall months.  Ibprofen was my new best buddy!  Right after Thanksgiving I became very sick no energy, pain, no appetite, fevers.  I was on the couch most of December.  The oncologist ran some extra tests and found that my cancer had transformed into an aggressive type and was in both of my femurs.  There was a tumor growing out of one femur into the soft tissue, basically eating away the bone.  Well, that explains all of the pain.  During the month of December my step mom was also having a "routine" surgery and with complications and a second surgery she passed away.  She was only 51.  All of this happened while Clay and I were at another hospital having my tests done.  My condition was serious and had to be addressed quickly.  I couldn't be with my family during her death, which was very difficult!  I still remember the call from my aunt as we were on our way to have the MRI done.  I had to lie still on the table for the test, in unbelievable bone pain and sobbing.  After tests to confirm the type of cancer, I began chemo on Dec. 30th.  The holidays were not easy, since I couldn't do the cooking or shopping.  After the first round of chemo I became extremely sick, sick for almost the entire month of January.  With each chemo treatment it has gotten easier. I'm now not sick with my stomach, only weak and move slowly for about 10 days after treatment, then I begin to feel normal.  During the end of January our beagle of 14 years suddenly became sick and we had to put her down.  Our friend came to the house and did it for us in the living room.  It was hard to say goodbye to our loyal and faithful friend, Lilly!  Clay and the 2 older boys dug her grave in the snow and buried her under her favorite tree.  I look back now over the past year and am so grateful for God's grace over our family.  I had just read this week in the book of James, to count it all joy when you go through various trials, because these will strengthen my faith.  (my paraphrase)  I've read this hundreds of times but, now I "see" what is says!  My faith in who God is has not changed over the year, but my grip of his hand as grown tighter.  No matter what today brings, God loves me and gave his ONLY son for me!!  I may not understand his plans or how my life can affect his kingdom, but I do understand that he loves me no matter what!! 


I'm hoping that today will mark the beginning of a quiet year!  I need a rest!!  Hang in there if your year has been as crazy as mine!!