Warm Snow

What does warm snow feel like? When I am transformed from this life to heaven, I want to play in warm snow. There are so many things that await us there. Will it be a place where we all will get our way or, will we put others first and not care. What will we want there? I want to be where there are puppies with puppy breath, horses, to be on top of a mountain while standing by the edge of the ocean. Now that I think of it, these things give me feelings that are so familiar, yet so hard to hold on to. I am comforted and reminded of the awe of God while looking at His creation from the viewpoint of a mountain or the edge of the ocean. I think I could spend days and days without moving just gazing out over the expanse of it all. Maybe I secretly feel like at any moment He will come for me from beyond the ocean or beyond the edges of the earth. Staring out just waiting for Him. The awe of God is everywhere for me. I don't want to miss a thing, while I wait for Him...or maybe He's waiting for me to come to Him. I am going to soak it all in today. I am going to love each moment, sound, touch, taste and smell. Today I am going to smell God. Maybe tomorrow I will get to play in the warm snow, it could happen.

The Path

Is there such a thing as balance? How do things seem to go spinning out of "my" control? I am always under the illusion that my life or just "a great" life is one that is orderly, predictable to some degree and calm. You know what I mean, I get up at this time, then do this, this and this. I have this time cut out for God during this time and everything is so "Brady Bunch". That is the extent of my imagination in what God will make of my life. Fortunately, God is saying, "NO! There is so much more for you, and since you can't imagine it, I will take you there. It will get difficult at times, you may not understand why I choose to take the paths we will take, but the key is that "we" are traveling together. When you are afraid, I will hold you under my wings, softly and tenderly. When you can't see because it is too dark, I will be your eyes and it is okay for you to keep your eyes closed. When you are distracted by this sinful, fallen world I will cover you with grace and ease your pain. There will be times that you must trust in my plan when it doesn't make sense, and know that I may be glorified more through your pain than through your wholeness. I know the tears you weep, but this path we are traveling will be so much more than you ever imagined. I am giving you more, more of ME."
In the midst of distraction of a sinful, fallen dying world I must search for you and find you, when I am tired, distracted, confused, and scared..I have to find you in it, feel you, see you, be with you. Help calm me, Help calm me.

Night Rider..I'm Hot!!

I am on my soap box tonight. We sat down to watch the new Night Rider show, since we really like the one that was aired a few years ago, probably more like 20 years ago. Anyway, within the first 10 minutes we were watching 2 girls in a bed with a guy and I am suspious that they weren't married (they could have been from Utah). Then, wait there's more, we were able to see 2 women having a one night stand, or actually the next morning. I was so thrilled to explain this to my children. I even checked the rating before the show began which listed NR. I am so, so sick of the CRAP and **** that is on TV. Needless to say, we turned the channel. I am sad to miss seeing the totally awesome Mustang on Night Rider. I think the "Hoff" would be ashamed. I don't think even Baywatch was that trashy. Thanks NBC for the smut!! Just a side note..I was contacted about being a participant for the Neilson Ratings. Payback in inevitable.

Well Rehearsed Lies

I heard this week that excuses are "well rehearsed lies". Wow! That is profound. How many times each day do I make excuses to myself or others? Excuse means to pardon for an offense. How does that grab ya? It has really challenged me to notice each time I offer up an excuse not to do something that I know deep down I should do. What am I so afraid of risking that I make excuses..my "precious time", my money, my own will. In reality these all belong to God anyway, not me. What would life look like or feel like if I went through an entire day without an excuse? I attempted this yesterday..I think I did pretty good..and as I lay in bed, my heart felt so full of joy that it would explode. I did the things during the day that popped into my mind, at the moment they popped in. Like..calling someone or praying for someone. It was all about doing and being! I have to say it was an incredible day! Nothing really different happened..the same ol' things, but some how it felt different. I became more aware and alive at the same time. I am excited to see what happens today, in my ordinary day.

What were you made to do?

What a loaded question! Trying to find the answer to this question is what it is all about, I mean to have a fulfilling life that is. Is life about the mark I leave on this world? I mean, really? Is it about doing all of those things you always dreamed of but were afraid? Or maybe, making loads and loads of money? I don't really know..if I had to guess, I would say it is different for each person. If I live a long life and am old and gray..or bleached blonde..lol..I think for me it will be how well did I love others? I want to spur others on to be more than they believe they can be, to be the more that God intended them to be. I believe that each of us is given a deep love, talent and longing to do a few things and do them well (like Rock Star well!) What will our life be like if we don't take the plunge, jump in and risk everything for what we love? That would SUCK! I don't want that type of life..a mediocre life. I want it all! After a few generations when I am dead and gone, no one is going to remember my name or what I did or didn't do. Only God and I will know and that is really all that matters. Let's live like crazy. Let's live like we only have one life to live..oh yeah..that is all we have to live. ONE!! Don't have any regrets..or would of, could of, should of's! Risk it ALL..Jesus did! (I love you MK)

Being Held

Worship was totally awesome today! I have been in a "circling" pattern for the past few weeks. I could see the landing field but just not able to pull it together enough to go down. This week God pulled me in and brought me to a safe place, a place closer to Him. Going through a struggle with God is something that changes a person, or it should. No matter how hard we push Him away, He just holds on a little harder. Life is never going to be perfect or even what I think it should be. Life is going to be more..God wants to give me more and I so want it..need it..long for it..feel like I will die without it. If I could learn how to rest in Him and Him alone when I feel lost...alone...unsure of where He is leading.. I know I am rambling..but I don't care. Today I stopped pushing Him "away" and placed my head upon His chest, He pulled me in and allowed me to breath Him in. It feels so good to let Him hold me!